How Language Hurts: Harmful Labels Faced by African-European Children

In this article, Amal Abbass, discusses racism, microaggressions and language rooted in colonial history. African-European children – children with both African and European heritage – often face subtle but painful comments about their identity. These remarks may not sound openly racist. They may even come from loving family members. But they carry hidden messages that can damage a child’s confidence and sense of belonging. This article explains how such language works, why it hurts, and what parents and educators can do to protect and empower children.

Colorism at Home: “You’re brown, not Black”

Many African or Afro-diasporic families believe they are shielding their children when they downplay the child’s Black identity. A common example is the statement: “You’re brown, not Black.”

To adults, this may sound like reassurance. But to children, these words send another message:
that being Black is something bad or dangerous, something to distance yourself from.

Studies in identity psychology show that messages like this can:

• weaken a child’s self-esteem,
• distort or delay identity development,
• create emotional distance from Black communities.

When a child hears that Blackness is something negative, they may begin to feel “in between” – not fully accepted anywhere. This creates a fragile sense of self and makes it harder for them to embrace their African-European identity with confidence.

Labels Across Borders: Muzungu, Tubab, Oyibo

In various African regions, people have long used terms for “foreigners” or “white people.” Some examples:

• Muzungu – used in parts of East Africa
• Tubab – used in Senegal and The Gambia
• Oyibo – used in Nigeria

These words come from the colonial era, when Europeans were associated with power, distance and dominance.

While these terms can carry different meanings today, they often still imply that someone is “not really African.” For African-European children, these labels can be deeply confusing and painful.

A double exclusion

African-European children often report the same experience:

In Europe, they are seen as “too African.”

In Africa, they are seen as “too European.”

This creates a painful contradiction. A child learns that no matter where they are, their belonging is questioned. They grow up feeling stuck in-between cultures, constantly having to explain themselves or prove they belong.

Why Language Matters

Words are not neutral. They shape how children see themselves, how they understand their identity, and how safe they feel in their communities.

Parents, relatives, teachers and community members all carry a responsibility to avoid language that continues old ideas of colonial hierarchy or racial superiority.

Empowering communication means:

• Teaching children that Black identity is a source of pride, not shame.
• Recognising African-European identity as whole and complete – not “half” or divided.
• Allowing children to choose their own terms for who they are.
• Questioning and challenging historical labels that carry discrimination.

Examples of empowering messages

“You are African-European – whole, not half.”

“Being Black is dignified and beautiful.”

“Your identity is strong, valid and non-negotiable.”

Conclusion

Microaggressions may seem small. But their impact is not small at all. They can shape a child’s identity for years, even generations. African-European children need language that strengthens them and acknowledges them fully. Every word we use either pushes a child away or brings them closer into the circle of belonging.

We must choose words that heal, not harm.

* The author, Amal Abbass, is a transcultural sandplay therapist, social entrepreneur and co-founder of tubman.network e.V. For decades, Abbass has advocated for equality and intersectional justice, spearheading creative, community-rooted initiatives to empower Black and migrant communities